I will be gone two nights for a work trip. I do admit, part of my is jumping for joy: two nights to be an adult, have full conversations, and not wake up at 4am.

But the reality of this is I’m nervous. While I’m not having second thoughts about going, I question whether it is the best decision. I’m leaving behind a nursing 4 month old, a mommy-centered 2 year old, and a husband who had major surgery 3 months ago (and still cannot lift more than 30 pounds). I’ve called in the reinforcements: my “village” for raising a child. My mother is fetching the girls from school and is helping with dinner and bath time, my mother-in-law is taking the girls to school and helping with the morning routine, and my sister-in-law is spending the night to help with everything in between. I think they are covered. More people will be caring for these girls than normally.

Where does this leave me?

Dealing with the mommy-guilt and drowning in a mountain of to-do lists.

In preparing to leave, I filled a legal pad with tasks and have completed the majority of them. This house will run like a well-oiled machine while I’m gone. I’ve given the family all the tools necessary to make the house easier to manage without me. Here’s what I’ve done – do you think I’ve missed anything:

  1. All lunches for the week are made.
  2. School clothes for both girls have been selected.
  3. Extra clothes have been taken to school (potty-training means LOTS of clothes).
  4. I upped the pumping a week ago and our fridge and freezer are stocked with milk. Fresh milk is in our home refrigerator and more than 60 ounces are going to school.
  5. Mostly prepared meals are in the refrigerator for dinner (just add vegetables).
  6. Wrote checks for home maintenance (lawn service, pool guy, etc.).
  7. Detailed instruction list for both girls.

While intellectually I know the family will be fine without me, I’m still concerned about the logistics. My husband full recognizes how crazy these two girls can be. I am certain they will be fine in my absence.

Now: onto 2 days of focusing on work – planning for 2015, business development, and continuing education. It won’t be all fun and games. And being without them isn’t a vacation, it is a reminder to work hard while I’m gone. Make the  sacrifice worth it.